The Academy Insider Podcast - Your Guide to The Naval Academy Experience

#099 Sharp Leadership: Life Lessons from a Marine Aviator

• GRANT VERMEER • Season 3 • Episode 99

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Navigating Storms With Naval Academy Grit

Leadership isn't just about titles or positions - it's about making a positive impact on those around you. In this episode of the Academy Insider podcast, we explore the essence of effective leadership with Carl Sharperson, a Naval Academy graduate, Marine aviator, and executive coach.

Carl's journey from Virginia to the Naval Academy, through his military career, and into the corporate world offers a wealth of insights on leadership, diversity, and personal growth. He shares how his upbringing and experiences at the Academy shaped his leadership philosophy, emphasizing the importance of taking care of your people and building genuine relationships.

Key Leadership Lessons

Throughout the conversation, Carl highlights several crucial leadership principles:

  • Embrace feedback: Learn to receive and act on constructive criticism
  • Build authentic relationships: Network with purpose and sincerity
  • Define success on your own terms: For Carl, it's developing "healthy, happy, productive grandkids"
  • Weather storms with resilience: Face adversity head-on and look for the lessons

The Value of a Service Academy Education

Carl passionately advocates for the unique benefits of attending a service academy, particularly the Naval Academy. He emphasizes how this experience:

  • Brings together diverse, talented individuals with a shared mission
  • Fosters discipline, structure, and continuous learning
  • Provides unparalleled leadership opportunities

Whether you're a current or aspiring military leader, a business professional, or simply someone interested in personal growth, this episode offers valuable insights on leadership, resilience, and the enduring impact of a service academy education.

The mission of Academy Insider is to guide, serve, and support Midshipmen, future Midshipmen, and their families.

Grant Vermeer your host is the person who started it all. He is the founder of Academy Insider and the host of The Academy Insider podcast. He was a recruited athlete which brought him to Annapolis where he was a four year member of the varsity basketball team. He was a cyber operations major and commissioned into the Cryptologic Warfare Community. He was stationed at Fort Meade and supported the Subsurface Direct Support mission.

He separated from the Navy in 2023 and now owns The Vermeer Group, a residential real estate company that specializes in serving the United States Naval Academy community with nationwide consulting and connection.

We are here to be your guide through the USNA experience.

Connect with Grant on Linkedin
Academy Insider Website
Academy Insider Facebook Page

If you are interested in sponsoring the podcast, have an idea, question or topic you would like to see covered, reach out: podcast@academyinsider.com.

Speaker 1:

Hey everyone and welcome back to the Academy Insider Podcast. I'm so excited to be joined by Carl Sharperson today. This episode is going to be all about leadership. Carl grew up in Virginia, went to the Naval Academy, became a Marine aviator, long career in the civilian world and now runs an executive coaching business. It's a fun discussion. We talk about life, we talk about humanists, we talk about leadership and his experience and how the Naval Academy and his upbringing set the foundation for his leadership philosophy and how he approaches it in today's world.

Speaker 1:

I hope you enjoy the listen. Please give me any feedback. You have any interest in further topics? Let me know. Otherwise, enjoy the listen. Thank you so much, hi everyone and welcome back to the Academy Insider Podcast, carl. Thank you so much for taking the time to join us today and talk a little bit about leadership, get to talk about your book, but really just have a fun conversation about the leadership lessons you've learned over your time through growing up at the Naval Academy, your time in the Marine Corps and after. Before we jump into it, if you don't mind, just giving a little introduction about yourself where you grew up, how you ended up at the Naval Academy, a little bit about your military career and into what you're doing now.

Speaker 2:

Outstanding. It's a pleasure to be here with you, grant. I was born in Washington DC in an environment where everybody looked like me. Everybody knew me. At the age of 14, my dad decided to move us to Spotsylvania, virginia, which is about 60 miles south of DC, in the eighth grade, halfway through the eighth grade. At that point in time there were two schools, an all-black school and a white school that had been integrated a little bit. Anyway, I went to the predominantly white school, learned a lot about life and learned some lessons about life, played sports, baseball and football. Wanted to go to college. Parents didn't have a whole lot of money. My high school coach was the third most influential person in my life. He's the one that sent the recruiter to my high school to recruit me to play football at the Naval Academy and I didn't know what the Naval Academy was. It was only 90 miles up the road, primarily because there weren't a whole lot of people that looked like me going to the Naval Academy. I applied, did not get in because I was not academically competitive. My GPA and my SAT scores were not competitive. The Naval Academy Foundation sent me to a prep school in Harlingen, texas, called Marine Military Academy. There I learned to study for the first time, reapplied, got accepted, entered the academy, played football at the academy, graduated, entered the Marine Corps, went to flight school, became a pilot in the Marine Corps, did two six-month Mediterranean deployments and one three-month Caribbean deployment while I was in the Marine Corps. Got out of the Marine Corps after five and a half years.

Speaker 2:

Worked for Procter Gamble. For seven and a half years Worked in a paper plant in Albany, georgia, southwest Georgia. It was a pretty unique experience. It was one of the best performing plants in the system and the thing that was most unique about it was very multicultural mix. Performing plants in the system and the thing that was most unique about it was very multicultural mix. The leadership said they wanted to hire the same multicultural mix as the community when they started it up in 1971. So when I got there in 81, 40% of the technicians were African-American, 20% of the managers were African-American and 20% of the managers were women Unheard of. You don't even see that today. So I learned a lot from people that looked like me, those that didn't look like me it was the best performing plant in the system, as well, as senior leadership used to send people to the plant to determine what we were doing, how we were doing it. So it was kind of like a flagship plant, learned a lot there and my first boss was a 1972 Naval Academy graduate, so that was neat. There Albany plant started up paper products five and a half years, then moved to Cincinnati, ohio, in a staff role.

Speaker 2:

After seven and a half years with Procter Gamble I decided to go with Frito-Lay in Frankfurt, indiana, just north of Indianapolis, made chips. I was a manufacturing engineer making Tostitos, tostitos, fritos, cheetos, all those things. But Procter Gamble was a very paternalistic organization. They would hire people, train them, promote them. Fritos would steal people from Coca-Cola, procter Gamble and other places and say you got the money, you got the experience, go make it happen. I don't care how many dead bodies you got, just go get me some cost results. So I go from a nurturing environment to that environment. I learned a lot in that environment. It's not one I want to be long term. So I started looking again.

Speaker 2:

After three and a half years Took a job with Colgate-Palmolive in Topeka, kansas. It was actually Hills Pet Nutrition. It was a subsidiary of Colgate-Palmolive. We make science diet and prescription cat and dog food. I was hired as a plant manager of a union facility First time I'd ever been in a union or worked in a union system, but I took the skills that I had in the military Procter Gamble Frito-Lay. We took a very traditional union facility and turned it into a high-performing work system where people could do multiple jobs. We were the best-performing plant in the system Oldest plant, only union plant, oldest people, oldest equipment. Twenty percent of the workforce was illiterate. But we were the best-performing plant in the system because of all the things that I put together leadership and diversity and listening to people basic things that I learned over time.

Speaker 2:

Did that and then I took a sales job in Topeka for three years, constantly moving west. My parents were living in Virginia at the time. My wife's, from Florida, wanted to live somewhere between those two states. Took a job as the vice president of manufacturing for Dunlap Schlosser in Westminster, south Carolina. Moved to Clemson, commuted to Westminster.

Speaker 2:

After about a year my boss and I graduated history and then I said OK, do I want to work with somebody else or do I want to do my own thing?

Speaker 2:

I said you know what I'm going to step out on faith and do my own thing. I said what can I do. I can do speaking, business, consulting, executive coaching, strategic planning. So I basically used my Rolodex at the time, network contacted people and said this is what I can do. Do you have any ideas? And that's kind of how I started getting work. So basically, what I do now is I help individuals and organizations gain clarity in what they want to do, where they want to go, and then help them develop strategies two or three things that they can do that will give them the maximum output to do that and then put together a roadmap to do that. So that's what I do with individuals as well as organizations. Been married 40 years, almost 39 years plus two kids and I love the Lord and helped start up a church. Basically, I try to help people and make this world a better place.

Speaker 1:

I love that. I love every bit of it and I mean you're talking an incredible resume and run from time in the Navy and the Marine Corps into the civilian work world and beyond into business ownership as well you talk about and again, a lot of the questions I'll be asking come out of your book as a result of some of the takeaways I had from your book. Again, if anyone's listening, I will put a link to purchase the book if you want as well, just to take a look at it Sharp Leadership. But you talk a lot about how the foundation of your leadership, like the foundational leadership lessons that you have, aren't actually from the Naval Academy. They were instilled by your parents in your upbringing. Can you talk a little bit about what your dad instilled in you and then what you also took away from your mother and how you blended those two personalities and the lessons you learned from them into your current leadership style?

Speaker 2:

Okay, outstanding. Yeah, I'm a firm believer that who we are is basically who we're around the most. I was blessed to have a mother and a father in the home at the same time. My father's actually a Munford Point Marine, so that was before the Marine Corps was integrated. So I learned from him some how to be tough. He was very entrepreneurish, asked good questions, continuous learner and just was a great role model. He could make friends with anybody, great relationship builder. My mother, on the other hand, she had an eighth grade education. Her dad was a Virginia tobacco sharecropper. She had an eighth grade education, her dad was a Virginia tobacco sharecropper, but by the time she died she was a master seamstress, master chef, baker. She was the community counselor, you know, and I never heard her say a disparaging word against anybody. Yeah, just loved on people and people loved on her. So the combination of those I think I've took a little bit of both of those personalities.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely. Again, you got to have a little of the balance right. You got to have a little balance, especially in the entrepreneurial world where you are dealing with a lot of people. You got to have that that figure it out mentality that message to Garcia mentality work really hard. But you also got to love on people. You got to take care of people Right. It's a big piece of all of it and you've mentioned a couple of times you know about even in your growing up in schools still being, you know, not integrated at times, although you being in a primarily white school in your town. Can you talk a little bit about what you experienced in terms of racism and racial tension in your upbringing, as well as through your time in the Navy and Marine Corps? I'm really interested to know about what that experience taught you about humanness and leadership in today's day and age. Oh, that's a great question.

Speaker 2:

So I went from an environment where everybody knew me, looked like me, liked me, to an environment that didn't look like me. I'll tell this story. It was almost like going to China. You can just imagine going to China and trying to figure out who's who in the zoo. I had the same experience when I was at that school very similar and I saw people. So I was in an environment where I couldn't get out. It's not like I could say I don't want to do this anymore, so I had to figure out how to make it work. Okay.

Speaker 2:

So over time, when I've saw people who didn't know me, who called me names, potentially as well as playing football, being an athlete, helped a lot because my high school coach he grew up in the, the, the holla of West Virginia, the white gentleman marginalized, and so he had some experience with being marginalized and he didn't take no crap. So my football experience in that school was very similar to the movie Remember the Titans. The only difference was my coach was white and one of the Titans was black. Very, very similar Level playing field, take care of each other, bond together. So I saw people going from calling me names to being my best friend, realized that everybody wants the same thing they want to be loved, they want to be respected and they want to be successful. When my dad died, there was a gentleman who used to call me names on the bus. He developed a relationship with my dad. He was at the funeral of my dad's, you know. So just learning that environment.

Speaker 2:

But because I had to figure out a way to make it happen and do it, and I learned a lot of lessons, I equate it to I used to say that why would people go on mission trips when there's a lot of things that can be done in the United States? But I met a guy about 10 years ago who had a mission in third world countries setting up businesses and things like that. He was celebrating his 25th anniversary. He had a bunch of people come in who had been on missionary trips. I was the only one that was there that hadn't been on a missionary trip, right? So I'm listening to these people talk and all they talked about was how the experience had benefited them, what they learned from it.

Speaker 2:

So my takeaway from that was, when you're in an environment where you're not the top dog, you have to depend on people, you have to depend on language. You have to depend on them to take care of you when you're in an environment like that. You have to depend on them to take care of you when you're in an environment like that. It gives you a whole different sense of humanity, a whole different sense of relationships, a whole different sense of everything you know. So that's kind of what I gather from the experiences that I had. You know, when you have those experiences, it causes you it's almost like having another language?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely, and you talk a lot as well about this idea of like people wearing masks, like you know, and it takes a while to get that first mask off, to find the real them. What was that experience again through your upbringing, even time at the Naval Academy, that allowed you to kind of find that common ground and get people to take off their mask and see the real human underneath them?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's a good point. It's all about the relationships and it takes time to be relationships. One of the things that the athletic field and the military do is it causes you to be together. It causes you to get to know each other. You have a common mission, causes you to get to know each other. You have a common mission and if you're in a foxhole with somebody or you're on a ship with somebody and you're spending time with them 24-7, you get to know them. And when you get to know them, you get to see the good, the bad and the ugly, but it's no different than a family. Who's got a perfect family, you know. So that time together and that common mission causes that gel which happened on the football team, which bled over into academics, and I've seen that same pattern throughout my life.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely, I mean that one really resonates with me too. Again, I was a submarine guy. I did four submarine deployments and I'll tell you what you never have like real, real human conversations until you're on day 74 of an underway with no fresh air, no sunlight, eating beans and rice, and you know you deal with pure misery, right, you really start to get to know people at that point, right, like you're saying all of the above and I think it's something you know, obviously. Again, me too, you know, basketball player, athlete, grew up my whole life, surrounded myself in environments that were different than my, than my upbringing, and again, I'm so grateful for the game of basketball and for the military for doing that to me.

Speaker 1:

Right, like it's made it so clear that the point that you made, which I love, which is, at the end of the day, everyone just wants to be loved, they want to be respected and they want to be successful, and that's the beauty of being an officer in the military too, is when you graduate.

Speaker 1:

So I tell the midshipmen all the time, and, like the parents when they graduated, at 22 years old, they're going to have an opportunity to love, respect and help make sailors and Marines successful, whatever success means to them, whether that's promotion through the ranks, whether that's getting out and going to school, getting a job, moving back to family, they have a real opportunity to make an impact in people's lives and do real good.

Speaker 1:

And so I appreciate you talking about that and sharing that experience, because I think it's just it's so important and it's something that you talk about. You already used the term one time and I just it was repeated over and over in the book, which is again. This idea of taking care of your troops right is something that you learned as a result of your military experience In your day-to-day now. Military experience in your day-to-day now, whether it was actually like in the civilian world or in your coaching. How do you apply those like Naval Academy leadership principles, those military leadership principles of taking care of your Marines, taking care of your troops when you work and consult with, like actual corporate executives out in the civilian world?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'll tell you this, and this is an additional learning that I've had over time. I'll tell you this. This is an additional learning that I've had over time. So when I was working for Kogi Palmolive in Kansas, my boss and I had some oil and water type issues not getting along. My boss's boss sent me to some training at the Center for Creative Leadership, which is one of the top leadership institutes in the world. That's non-academic, it was actually founded in 1971 with a military model.

Speaker 2:

Anyway, I went to a program called the Looking Glass Experience. The Looking Glass Experience would bring in 21 executives and they would take different positions in a company and then they'd run their company for a day and then you'd get feedback and debriefs throughout the rest of the week. So I did that and at the end of the week you have to tell the person that's leading and what's the most important thing you need to do to become a better leader. So I go through that the first week and I talked to the lady that's leading and I said I think I'd like to become a facilitator. She says really. She says if you can come back three different times and train with the lead facilitator, I'll certify you. So part of my developmental plan was to get certified. So I got certified and over time I did probably 10 of those sessions. That's 10 times 21 people, high-powered executives all over the world. What they would say 99% of the time when the question was what's the most important thing you can do to become a better leader? They would say work life balance. They would say things like I'm on my third wife. She just filed for divorce. I got two kids. One doesn't know me, the other was on drugs. I got 60 pounds overweight. I had my third stint put in. That's what high power executives were saying. So I don't care how much power you have, how much money you have, everybody's got issues. Just, I got issues. Okay, so me as a leader, my number one goal is to number one tell you where we want to go, figure out how I can help you.

Speaker 2:

I use the join-up process. When I join up with organizations or people join up, or either I'm the leader of an organization and I join up with people, or I come to a new organization and join up with people in a simple process. I talk about myself, a little bit about myself, as transparent as I can. If I say one of the things I talk about is I'm a stage four non-hospital and a former survivor, you know. So I'm very transparent about that growing up and stuff like that, asking them to do the same, you know.

Speaker 2:

And then I say, well, one of the things that I need you to do is, if you see me doing something that's going to be detrimental to you or the organization, I need you to tell me that as soon as possible. Right? And then when they tell me something like that, I got to say thank you very much, whatever it is Right. The other thing I say is I have some basic expectations of you. I need you to tell me the truth. You need to do the best you can and right. Those are the basic expectations that I have. Treat people with respect. What are your expectations of me? Find out. And then I say okay, so how can I help you?

Speaker 2:

The other question I ask them is you've been around here for a while, so what are the two or three things you think can be done to make this organization a better organization? I write all this stuff down, okay, so if I do anything that they say I got a friend for life. I say, okay, so how can I help you? And when I say how can I help you, that's personally and professionally. Sure, they might say I have a special needs child, I have a difficulty getting childcare, yep, okay, if I can use a resource to help them with that, that person will knock down heaven and earth to keep me around, you know.

Speaker 2:

But it's basic taking care of your people, you take care of your people, your people take care of you. If you don't take care of your people, people don't take care of you. And some of the people that have the most power don't have a title. Sometimes you got a janitor or a housekeeper. That's the HR consultant for everybody and everybody leans on. But they don't have a title. But they got a bunch of influence. And when I join up with organizations, I don't start making decisions. I asked a bunch of stupid questions before I make any decisions and I find out from them what needs to be done and anything I can tell the organization. That is what they told me to do. I've already got a fan club, yep.

Speaker 1:

I love it Again.

Speaker 1:

I just and it's so directly translatable to your time as a junior officer in the fleet too as silly as it is, but it almost goes back to your point of it you don't need a title, you don't need to be the captain of the ship, you don't need to be the skipper of the aviation squadron to make a positive impact, to care, to ask how you can help people and then actually follow through with the actions to help them.

Speaker 1:

Right, and it's really special, and I appreciate that feedback. It's incredible and one of the, I would say, the interesting pieces especially for like being a JO or being, you know, like a division officer, a platoon commander, whatever the case is is this idea of feedback. And so this is what I want to talk about, because I love this story that you tell in the book, which is early in your time at one of your first civilian jobs, you're going out, you think you're doing a great job, you're like I'm crushing it, and then you have your first feedback meeting and they're like nah, dog, this is not going well. This idea of feedback and receiving harsh and critical feedback and not allowing it to crush you, but rather again taking it, utilizing it and then being proactive to address it.

Speaker 2:

It's one of the top lessons I think any leader or anybody can learn to be successful, whatever success is and how you determine it, because I know what I know. I need to know what other people know and the only way I can know that is to listen. I need to do a lot more listening than talking. That's why I have two ears and one mouth. So I'm working for Procter Gamble and we're getting great results.

Speaker 2:

I had my first feedback session with my boss, who happened to be a 1972 Naval Academy graduate. Ok, he was a varsity wrestler and Marine Corps officer sharp guy. And so for the feedback session you have to write how you think you did. You know going into the session, right. So he gets feedback from his peers and writes that down in his feedback and we go into the session. He first listens for me how do I think I did, and as far as hitting the quality and the production and leadership and stuff like that, right. So I told him that. And then he said told me what the feedback he got from himself and from the other people that were his peers. And I'm thinking, oh man, I was shocked.

Speaker 2:

And he says well, what are you going to do about it. I said they've already made up their mind. What can I do about it? He says you can do something about it. He says go back to those individuals, tell them you got the feedback, tell them what it was and you ask them what is their advice on turning feedback around. So I did that. I listened, fast forward. Six months later, flip the script, transformational lesson, transformational lesson, and that I've seen that happen over and over and over. So you got to, depending on where you are in an organization that's why I do the join up piece. You know is it's kind of like informal feedback that's what's going to really drive the organization. So you want to get others perspective, do what they think you need to do, and you know that's how you, that's that's how you win.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love it. It was the funniest story to me, Cause I was like there's so many times where I've been that like I'm like, oh yeah, I'm feeling out of review, Like I crushed that, Like that was so good, and then you realize you're actually not acting in accordance with like what the people who are evaluating you are actually looking for. Right, and to have that clarity to go ask, to be proactive, to seek what they are wanting from you and what success looks like in their eyes, right, and then actually executing on that, it's another beast. And to have the humility to just take it on the chin and go in and you know and then adjust your behavior. I mean, that's what it takes Again, especially in the Navy and Marine Corps.

Speaker 1:

You're going to work for a lot of different bosses, right? Your skippers are changing out every two to three years. You're getting new department heads or company commanders all the time. Things are changing and so it's really interesting. And to have that ability to adjust, to ask for feedback, to get that feedback, take it on the chin and adjust behavior to work in the new scope of what people are looking for, it's really good.

Speaker 2:

Now I have— Well let me ask you another question. There's another way that this can be used so you can proactively get you some feedback. So when I moved to Cincinnati working for corporate headquarters at Procter Gamble, I made a point to go and interview with some of the top executives at Procter Gamble. I met with the president of Procter Gamble. I met with the fastest track and plant manager at Procter Gamble who was a former military, former army officer. I met with him and so what I would do is I would meet with them and I'd say I want to tell you a little bit about me, tell me a little bit about yourself and tell me what I need to be, in your opinion, to be successful. What kind of things do I need to do to be successful? They tell me what that is. I got a roadmap.

Speaker 2:

So this is what the fastest tracking plant manager, who's a former Army officer, told me. He said when I get a new opportunity, the first thing I do is I go to my boss and say boss, what do I need to do to maximize my pay? I like that. What do I need to do to maximize my pay Now? What do I need to do to get promoted? What do I need to do to get the next assignment, because if I can follow the money, everything else takes care of itself, right? So if you have a boss that has any credibility and he tells you what you need to do and you do what he tells you nine times out of 10, you're going to get a pretty good bump.

Speaker 1:

You'll be all right.

Speaker 2:

That's proactively valuable. That's proactively getting your own feedback before you have to go back before six months. You know you're not paying catch up. You're being proactive.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love it. Agree, Stan. Yeah, I agree. Agreed, I do want to. You said something that was really interesting to me and I just want to dig deep into it a little bit, which is you said you'll be successful. However, you define success as you know, at your point now in life having a military experience, a civilian career, now coaching how do you define success as, at your point now in life, having a military experience, a civilian career, now coaching. How do you define success? Because I feel like there are a lot of midshipmen and grads out there who are chasing that number one fit rep, that are chasing their order of merit, that are chasing these things, and I just love your opinion on how you define success.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I define success and I got this from somebody else who was a leadership guru. The definition is that for me for me, success is developing healthy, happy, productive grandkids. I like that Grandkids, okay. So if I can develop healthy, happy, productive grandkids, that's success in my life.

Speaker 1:

I love that. How do you achieve that in your day to day? What is that? What does that look like? What are the habits, the actions you take on a day to day basis to try and make sure that you are successful?

Speaker 2:

Well, a lot of it is already planted in my kids. Again, I don't interact with my grandkids. I've only got one, who's called the fourth, born eight months ago.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Congratulations, thank you. So it's my children and then having them pour into their children, right? So for me, a lot of that work is done, but I will hopefully have some time to interact with my grandchild of that work is done, but I will hopefully have some time to interact with my grandchild, and so that's you know, that's but.

Speaker 2:

But. But I always believe that if you start with the end in mind, for example, when and I talk about this in my book well, I talk about it in my second book for sure, but there's only there's two people in this world that the only reason they're here is because of me, that's my kids, that the only reason they're here is because of me, that's my kids. So I need to make sure that I set them up for success. So when they become 18 years old, they need to have all the skills that they need to be successful. Ok, that's starting with the end in mind. So if I start with the end in mind and I do some things like that, then by the time they turn 18, hopefully they'll be able to go into the military if they choose to go.

Speaker 2:

Become an entrepreneur, work on a job, become an executive, do whatever they want to do, but they have to have the skills to do that. So I use the example of they ought to be able to be dropped in the city of New York, New York City, with a suitcase full of clothes and enough money for a month's rent and food and be able to make it. So if that's the goal and you think, okay, what kind of things do I need to do to prepare them to do that? It's a whole different mindset and that's basically what you're doing, because even if they go to a quote, unquote Christian college, if they don't get it through the internet, sure, yeah, no, I feel I feel you, yeah, and again it I, it just like it gets me going.

Speaker 1:

I love it because it's it's message to Garcia man, like it's it's the thing that was instilled with us deeply. It sounds again like your father instilled it in you a ton as well. But the Naval Academy, really for the first time for me, which is the idea of just got to figure it out, like you got to have the hard work, the grit, the ability to persevere through adversity and just and just figure it out. And again, that comes through trial and tribulation, it comes through adversity, it comes through getting things wrong a couple of times and doing that. So I love that. I think that's a really cool definition of success on your end and I love it to kind of transition.

Speaker 1:

You know, this last bit of the episode is really going to be about people and relationships, but especially, like now we've been talking a lot about, you know, in a boss setting or whatever the case is, sometimes you know as the boss with your subordinates. But I want to talk a little bit about mentorship and relationships. You know, you mentioned in your book and I love this phrase which is you get not because you ask not right and you talk a lot about the impact others have made in your life because you asked for that help. Can you tell us a little bit about your opinion and what you've learned about the importance of relationship, mentorship and networking in a personal and a professional sense?

Speaker 2:

That's a great question. Again, my high school coach, coach Sparks he's 84 years old is the third most influential person in my life besides my parents. Coach Sparks left Virginia and went to teach at St Joe in Maryland and went to teach at St Joe in Maryland. Right, he's in the Hall of Fame. I can call him up today. He's 84 years old. I can call him up today and say, coach, I got a kid that has good character, decent ball player and is willing to travel. I can get that kid a full ride to a school if he's willing to do that. And then the person needs to be able to go to Iowa, kansas, some place like that. But I can get him a scholarship with no money out of their pocket. But that's a game changer. But so he poured into my life. I don't know how many thousands of kids he's had go to higher levels and stuff like that, but I feel an obligation to do that same thing, you know. So when I was at Procter Gamble, young managers would come in, listen to him, tell him my take on what needs to be done to be successful and things like that. And building relationships is so important.

Speaker 2:

Naval Academy story 14 years ago I was diagnosed with stage four, non-hygiene lymphoma 16. No, that was my wife. Six rounds of chemotherapy and relationships. There was a lady in my neighborhood. There was a cancer survivor. She told me about her chemo walk. I started walking when I was going through chemo. When I was walking I would say one or three scripture to get the negative stuff out of my head.

Speaker 2:

And not only was I sick, I was broke. I contacted the president of my class at the Naval Academy. He contacted a classmate of mine named Keith who recently died. About two weeks ago Keith put together a GoFundMe program. Before GoFundMe wasn't a thing. My classmates and alumni supported, supported me financially for an entire year, many of which I hadn't seen for 30 years, because of the relationships that we had with each other. People could, you can have a relationship with somebody. They can open up doors that money can't buy. If you ask people how did you get this job? How did you get this opportunity? How'd you go get this opportunity? How did you go to this school? 80 percent of the time it will be because of some relationship that they had. Their daddy knew somebody, their coach knew somebody, their mother knew somebody. So if you don't take advantage, not take advantage, but if you don't build healthy relationships, you're shooting yourself in the foot.

Speaker 1:

Yep, so yeah, no, I love that and again, I think, again, it's special to hear that, and especially like the special bond that's created at the naval academy do, and in the desire to provide support and outreach, just based on our shared experience and all this. But I think it's one of these things when I talk about networking this this term quote unquote networking. I love the way that you framed it and it's all about relationship building. It's not transactional. As long as you are building genuine, authentic relationships with people and showing that you care and you want to help, then they're going to want to help you too when that time comes Right. And it's not a transaction, it just it comes down to exactly what you said, which is building these relationships and then, when the time comes, asking for help when you need it right, because people want to help people, but the only way they know about that and are motivated to do so is when you have a relationship with them. And so you know I love that piece and I couldn't agree more.

Speaker 1:

You know you mentioned your health there and I couldn't agree more. You know you mentioned your health there and you know obviously a big piece of the Naval Academy experience that we talk about is this idea of weathering storms right, of having to sail through storms and come out the other end. Your health was a massive storm that you had to sail through. Can you tell us a little bit about that experience? You know your whole life, from Navy to Marine Corps, the difficulties there, the difficulties with your health, and tell us a little bit about your keys to weathering storms. How do we get through adversity?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and a lot of it was embedded in me at the Naval Academy. Sure, leave summer, you know. So I go to the Navy. I'll tell you this. I go to the Naval Academy, I go to prep school. I I had two roommates freshman year. Both of them validated two semesters of calculus. One validated one semester of chemistry Right. So those are my classmates, right. So there's this. There's this thing about the gouge. I guess it's still used to get in the gouge. That basically means you get information from your peers and people that you know so that you don't have to start at the floor, you can start at where they are Right.

Speaker 2:

And building relationships. At the Naval Academy the first thing we had to do was we had to find out who our company mates were, our classmates, where they live, what they like, doing something about it. You know, and it just kept building and building and building. So building those relationships were so pivotal. But the other thing that Plebe here taught me was you know, you have some adversity.

Speaker 2:

I can remember Parents Weekend and one of my roommates was from Florida. He didn't have any military indoctrination or anything like that before. So Parents Weekend the parents come up and after the weekend they leave. He's sad, he's trying to sort things out and stuff like that. So I did some encouragement with him.

Speaker 2:

But what the upper class did was they messed up our room. They put our room in disarray. You got 30 minutes to get it straight. So it took your mind off of that to the mission. So, going through the storm for me and this is kind of how I got through the Naval Academy Go through the Naval Academy you got something to do. You got to put together a plan and keep it moving, keep your head down and keep it moving. So when I had the cancer diagnosis okay, doc, what do I need to do? You know what's the process and what do I need to do to get through this. So I let God do what only he can do, I let the doctors do what only they can do and I do what only I can do. I do my piece, keep it moving and hopefully there's a good outcome only I can do.

Speaker 1:

I do my piece, keep it moving and hopefully there's a good outcome. Absolutely, and one of the pieces as you're going through that you mentioned that during that battle with cancer you would repeat this idea that consider it pure joy when you are faced with trials of many kinds. Why do you feel this way After going through all this? Why is it joyful to be faced with with like true trial and tribulation?

Speaker 2:

Well, if I think about my life and I think about the stories in the Bible, some of my greatest accomplishments are on the other end of a storm. So when I have a storm, okay, god, where's the blessing I'm looking for, I'm looking for it, I'm looking for it. You can't wait to see it. And if you have that mindset, that's a whole lot better, because if you have a negative mindset, I'll tell you so. When I was diagnosed with cancer, my caseworker told me. She said, carl, you can beat this thing, but you got to have a positive attitude. If you tell yourself you're going to die, you're going to die because your body's going to follow it. If you tell yourself you're going to live.

Speaker 1:

You got to shout Absolutely, absolutely. Well, I appreciate all of this insight, all of this thoughtfulness. You know we like to wrap up episodes by talking about the power of a service academy education, and so you know I just love your opinion here on why, again in today's day and age, as we continue to go, why young men and women should consider a service academy education. Like what do you think the true benefit of this experience has been for you, and why young people should still consider it.

Speaker 2:

In my second book, which is Sharp Leadership Parenting Principles for Rearing Young People. It talks about what needs to be done to start with the ending match so that when they're 18, they can do what they need to do. So I talk in the book about how important it is to have discipline. I talk about how important it is to have structure. I talk about how important it is to have experiences, extracurricular activities. In a perfect world you'd have one team sport and one individual sport, because it teaches you two different things Quitters never win, winners never quit.

Speaker 2:

Academically, you need to be a continuous learner, one of the things that the Naval Academy does and I think the Service Academy is doing that very few other organizations do, if any. You get different people from different places living together with the same mission, and not only these people are some of the best and the brightest in the world. You know, you got athletes, you got brainiacs, you got actors, you got speakers, any discipline. I can remember there was what they call a talent contest or something like that in my summer, my previous year, and then I saw Miss Human do all kinds of stuff, very, very talented Boy Scouts something like 20% of Service Academy Eagle Scouts and athletics. I mean, it's just so to be able to experience that kind of leadership and that kind of wealth and that kind of knowledge and brainpower.

Speaker 2:

I'll tell you this quick story. So after induction day at the Naval Academy, I met this guy named Mark Mark was from New York City, no, from the state of New York, new York City. He's an All-American. No, all-state basketball player, maxed the SAT and was at the Naval Academy. So after induction day, the end of that day, somehow, I got into a conversation with him. He says, man, I am not staying at the Naval Academy. I can't believe I signed him. This is not what I signed him for. When does basketball practice start? Man, this is crazy. Fast forward. He gets one of the three slots medical slots at the Naval Academy. He retired as a neurosurgeon at the Mayo Clinic. That retired as a neurosurgeon at the Mayo Clinic. That's the kind of caliber of individuals that come to the Naval Academy. I'm biased about the Naval Academy compared to the other.

Speaker 1:

Yeah me too. You're in the right forum. They're all good, but if you had to pick the best, yeah, you go to Annapolis, that's right, that's what it is you go to boat school.

Speaker 2:

That's right, that's what it is. You go to boat school. I can remember the summer before we reported there was a guy that was a plebe that was on what was the show called? He was on a game show. I can't remember Jeopardy. He was on Jeopardy. I think he was on Jeopardy. He named Howdy Neighbor and he said he was going to the Naval Academy summer camp and when he got there, man, he got all kinds of grief.

Speaker 1:

Hey, attention in the outside world, all attention is good. Attention At the Naval Academy all attention is bad. Attention. Man, you got to stay under the radar. You got to stay under the radar. Oh man, that's funny yeah, man. Well, hey, Carl, genuinely, thank you so much for taking the time to join us today. Before we wrap up, is there anything that I didn't ask that you'd like to address the audience about or talk about before we wrap it up?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'll just say a couple of things. So somebody asked me on the podcast what's the most important thing that you're proud of, what are you most proud of? And I said this what I'm most proud of is that I have written two books that, in my opinion, are how to navigate this world, and when I'm dead and gone they'll still be there. So my first book talks about overcoming adversity. Experiences at the Naval Academy, integrating the school sports. How do you lose a job without losing your mind? How do you overcome adversity? How do you join up with people? How important relationships are?

Speaker 2:

I had a 17-year Marine Corps veteran got out of Marine Corps post-traumatic stress disorder, became a substance abuser. Then he became homeless. Now he runs a shelter for homeless veterans. He says the first book he ever read from cover to, covered His Life. My second book, shark Leadership Parenting Principles for Rearing Young People, is my take on how to rear healthy, happy, productive young people. I've had teachers of the year read it. It's all the. It talks about bullying, social media, how do you start with the end in mind, and it's fundamental. And each one you know it asks questions what did you learn? What are you going to do differently based on the chapter, so it's no theory in it. It's all stories about my life. This is what happened, this is what I did, and this was the result.

Speaker 2:

Self-help books they're easy reads. The first one's on audio and book form, the other one's just in book form. But they're easy reads and, matter of fact, I just had a classmate of mine reading my book, named Jeff Tomlin, and we went to flight school together in the Marine Corps. He got out of Marine Corps and went to medical school, so he's a retired doctor. He read my book and wrote me a nice review. But I've had CEOs read it. I can take that book and do a team building session, workshops, leadership workshop, diversity, equity, inclusion workshop and it's just a powerful read because it opens up people's minds and once you open people's minds it's like OK, what are we going?

Speaker 1:

to work on. Yeah, authenticity, I love it and we'll put links to both those books in all the comments and the show notes and everything. But if someone's just listening right now and they want to go search for it, where can they find it?

Speaker 2:

They can find it at wwwcarlsharpersonjrcom, which is my website, and it'll take you to Amazon and you can see it.

Speaker 1:

Love it Well, Carl thank you can see it. Love it. Well, carl, thank you so much for your time today. I really appreciate it. Again, I've read the first one. I'm still without kids. We probably could start reading book number two here getting planned out.

Speaker 2:

You need to start reading it before you think about it, Just before you think about kids, because you might say I'm not sure.

Speaker 1:

I got two little nieces right now and it's put an extension on the timeline for me. I've opened my eyes, use it on them, but no, I appreciate you being here. Thank you so much for your time today. It's an honor to get to have you on here and talk a little leadership. So thank you so much and to the Academy Insider audience, I hope you enjoyed the listen. Thank you so much and have a good day.

Speaker 2:

Well, thank you for what you do, my friend. This is really a great podcast and it's unique, and I'm kind of biased, but I do believe it's one of the best podcasts that I've been a part of.

Speaker 1:

Thank you. I appreciate that Genuinely. Thank you very much. All right, well, everyone hope you have a good one. Thank you so much and have a great day. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Academy Insider Podcast. I really hope you liked it, enjoyed it and learned something during this time. If you did, please feel free to like and subscribe or leave a comment about the episode. We really appreciate to hear your feedback about everything and continue to make Academy Insider an amazing service that guides, serves and supports midshipmen, future midshipmen and their families. Thank you.

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Grant Vermeer

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