The Academy Insider Podcast - Your Guide to The Naval Academy Experience
The mission of Academy Insider is to guide, serve, and support Midshipmen, future Midshipmen, and their families. Through the perspective of a community of former graduates and Naval Academy insiders, this podcast will help you learn about life at the United States Naval Academy in Annapolis. Through our shared experiences, Academy Insider guides families through the anxiety and frustration caused by lack of understanding, misinformation, and confusion. This platform is designed to better relationships between midshipmen and their loved ones. This podcast is not affiliated with the United States Naval Academy, the United States Navy or Department of Defense. The thoughts and opinions are exclusively those of your host and his guests.
The Academy Insider Podcast - Your Guide to The Naval Academy Experience
#006 - Julie Haller - 2023 BLB Parents Facebook Moderator and Experienced USNA Mom
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In this episode, your host Grant Vermeer speaks with Julie Haller the moderator of the BLB 2023 USNA parents facebook page.
Julie and her husband are both USAFA ‘88 grads. She left active duty after 5 years, but was a participating reservist for several years, leaving the reserves as an 0-4 (Major).
Though Julie and her husband are USAFA grads, she jokes that all four of her children have gone to the "dark side" becoming USNA midshipmen.
She has four children, Jeff (USNA ‘14), Lauren (USNA ‘16), Cassie (USNA ‘19), and Jack (USNA ‘23).
Julie is now obviously a proud and active Navy mom and has had a son or daughter at the Naval Academy for the past ten years.
Julie shares so much words of wisdom with us on NAPS, plebe summer, parenting mids and so much more.
Julie is amazing and gives so much service to parents through her facebook page and the advice and counsel she provides. She reflects that she received so much help from Elaine Brye when she was a new USNA mom. Julie recommends Elaine's book Be Safe, Love Mom.
If you want to learn more about the United States Naval Academy like Grant's facebook page and visit his website.
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The mission of Academy Insider is to guide, serve, and support Midshipmen, future Midshipmen, and their families.
This podcast is independently produced and reflects the views and opinions of its creators. It is not officially affiliated with, endorsed by, or representative of the United States Naval Academy or its affiliates.
Grant Vermeer your host is the person who started it all. He is the founder of Academy Insider and the host of The Academy Insider podcast. He was a recruited athlete which brought him to Annapolis where he was a four year member of the varsity basketball team. He was a cyber operations major and commissioned into the Cryptologic Warfare Community. He was stationed at Fort Meade and supported the Subsurface Direct Support mission.
He separated from the Navy in 2023 and now owns The Vermeer Group, a residential real estate company that matches service academy families with trusted real estate teams all across the country. Text (650) 282-1964 with any real estate questions.
We are here to be your guide through the USNA experience.
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This is your host Grant Vermeer Naval Academy class of 2017 and I'm your academy insider. It's my goal to be your guide through the Naval Academy experience by sharing my stories and providing you insight and information into the life of a midshipman. Academy Insider is in no way officially affiliated with the United States Naval Academy and the content on academy i nsider is my own and does not reflect the views of the United States Naval Academy, the United States Navy nor the Department of Defense. Welcome to the academy insider podcast. My guest today is Julie Haller.
SpeakerJulie is truly a subject matter expert in regards to being a Midshipman parent and shares her wisdom with us on this episode. But what makes Julie such an expert? Well, first of all, both her and her husband are both United States Air Force Academy graduates. from the class of 1988. She's been five years on active duty and then several more i n the reserves.
Speaker 1Finally leaving the military as an o four Julie has four kids who she in the episode she likes to joke, they've all gone to the dark side. She has a son, Jeff, who is a class of 14 graduate from the Naval Academy, daughter Warren, who is a class of 16 graduate daughter Cassie, who was a class of 19 graduate and then another son Jack, who will be a plebe this year, Naval Academy class of 2023. So at this point she has had children at the Naval Academy for 10 consecutive years, both female and male midshipman. And so she has a wide range of experience when it comes to being a parent at the Naval Academy. On top of that, her son Jack, who is going to be a plebe this year went to the Naval Academy Prep School, which we call naps. So she understands that experience as well. And as a result of just being in the community for so long, she was asked to be an admin for the naps class of 2019 parent Facebook group that provides support for all the different families who have kids or loved ones going through naps at that time. And she's also been asked to start the United States Naval Academy class of 2023 parents page. And so she will be a fantastic resource for a lot of parents are just loved ones out there that want to learn more about the academy that want to bounce ideas off. She's benefited by a great mentor early on in her Naval Academy parent journey and as a result she wants to pay it forward and that's why she takes on these responsibilities being admins for these Facebook pages because she wants to help others with her words of wisdom from years of her own experience and perspective that come from moderating these Facebook pages. So I know you guys will love hearing from Julie as a service academy graduate aa parent page moderator and mostly just as a very experienced midshipman mom who generously shares her wisdom with all of us. And so I know you guys will get some great information out of this and I really hope you enjoy the episode. Let's get to it. All right. Thank you so much again.
SpeakerJulie, thank you so much for coming on the show. I really appreciate you taking the time to join us on academy insider. Oh, it's my pleasure. Thank you so much for having me. Perfect. You did go to the Air Force Academy, so if you don't mind just talking a little bit about your time at the air force academy as well as an officer in the air force.
Julie HallerSure, yeah, I was in 1988 air force academy graduate and I met my husband of 31 years there. We were squadron mates. Okay. And then I, um, upon graduation I went in, uh, became a personnel officer and he was a pilot and I stayed in for five years. And then I got out and did some reserve time. Actually. Then when I had my first, my oldest son, I kind of switched back and forth between doing an active reserves and then taking care of my kids am I got out as a major, um, altogether. And then that's when I stayed pretty much stay home full time.
Speaker 1Fantastic. And as an air force Grad and a husband, that's air force as well. How'd you end up having four kids go to the Naval Academy?
Speaker 2Tell me how that happened. Yeah, they went to the dark side to say, but they tell me they saw the light. So my actually is my oldest son kind of paved the way. He applied to both air force and Navy and Navy actually accepted him in October. He had that because we are eligible for the presidential nomination. Yeah. October. He found out real early, the Navy didn't hear anything from air force until April and that was for a foundation scholarships. So he's like, you know what, I'm going navy. And that kind of set, set the tone right there. Absolutely. And he, he actually was able to spend a semester at the Air Force Academy in exchange and he's like, so he says he made the best choice is really, really happy with this decision. That's fantastic. Did any of the other kids do the service exchange program? No. No. He was the only one.
Speaker 1Okay, cool. And for just people who are listening in might not know what that is. Do you mind taking a minute to just explain what the Service Academy Exchange Program is?
Speaker 2Oh sure. I think he was one of the last classes actually that was able to go his second semester of his junior year. I think they do it on that the first semester, but yeah. Yeah. But they're allowed to go do either service cademy exchanges either to west point or the Air Force Academy. And some do exchanges too. You know, some will go abroad and do a semester abroad. So it's very amazing opportunities they have. And I mean you've got a very good appreciation for the other service and I think was very valuable for him. But of course now I'd never live it down cause he's like, yeah, I went there, you had it. So He's in the chair force.
Speaker 1I know a little bit of good, good fun filled. Oh yeah, I like it. But yeah, the services, the service, a academy exchange program. It's really cool. So during my time I actually had a one midshipman from the Spanish naval academy come and do a semester at the Indianapolis, which was awesome just to get to talk to him and learn about kind of the similarities and differences between that and then never in my company. But I did know many both West Point and air force academy and even Coast Guard Academy Service Exchange students who came for a semester. So it really is a fun program that a lot of people don't really know about, but it is definitely a very, very possible thing for you to jail if that's what you're interested in. Um, so yeah. All right. So again, with you, your husband and all of your children attending service academies, it seems like you're probably a big proponent of service academies in general. Kind of. How many of your kids actually went to naps and, and kind of, if you don't mind explaining a little bit of wet naps is, and then some of the benefits you think big benefits of going to naps are? Oh sure.
Speaker 2Naps is the Naval Academy Prep School and my only one that went as my youngest one that's going to be 2023 plebes. So naps was a very new experience for me this last year. And honestly it was phenomenal program because he was one that needed it. He struggled his sophomore year of high school. And I think part of it honestly was, cause at that time he of service academy, it was the last thing on his mind and he almost was making it like it wouldn't be an option. So he just didn't do what he needed to do. Yeah. And then he started excelling and pole vaulting and then it became that, oh, service academy might be an option for me. And then he started getting, you know, getting it together and with his academics and where he needed to be. But if it wasn't for the prep school, you know, I don't think he would've, he it really helped him where needed it. And um, and to see the bonds that those kids have formed in the last year and the parents, I mean lifetime friendships and it's just, it's a great program for the lot of, he had a lot of friends that are prior enlisted that came in from the fleet and just they looked up to them because they kind of already knew a lot of the things that to our kids as direct, NAPS school kids, they were learning a lot from them. And then now, now in turn when my son goes to I Day, he's going to kind of be the one that, that people will be looking up to and that he'll be able to helping out cause he has a little bit of experience.
Speaker 1Oh absolutely. And I'm glad you brought up the point about the prior enlisted sailors or marines going to two naps because that it's a huge thing. And as it turns out, when you're in the fleet, especially as junior enlisted, you don't really have a lot of time to study calculus and chemistry again, right. So you kind of lose a lot of things that you had in high school, but there are so many sailors and marines out there that are just one tremendous people, but to tremendous leaders in their own right. And to get them the opportunity again to refresh academically and give them the opportunity to attend the naval academy is, is fantastic. I mean, I think naps is a fantastic opportunity for so many people.
Speaker 2Oh, it really is. And my son, he was just saying like, he, I mean, he was a leader and he's just good at that. And, and I think, you know, they, the Naval Academy saw something in him and, and he just needed a little help with the studying and they did. So he worked his butt off.
Speaker 1Absolutely. And that, and that's what it's all about. Did any of your children go to the Naval Academy or did they all go through naps?
Speaker 2No, he was the only one that went through naps. So all the other three went direct.
Speaker 1Fantastic. And having that difference between going direct and go through naps, do you think there were maybe even any disadvantages or kind of negatives about going in apps or do you think it was an extremely just overwhelmingly positive experience for him?
Speaker 2I think it was a very positive experience for him. He needed it. My husband actually went to the Air Force Academy Prep School. Okay. So he, we were familiar with the system and the program pretty much. So, um, we knew that, you know, that you're losing a year, it's a five year program instead. But you know, these days a lot of college kids, that's, that's what they're doing anyways. So, so we didn't really see that as a negative. And then now seeing him, you know, prepared for Ida, he's definitely more prepared than my other three work going into. Okay.
Speaker 1Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I remember that day one as I showed up and people are always like, just find the Napsters. And I was like, what's that even mean? And I was like, there are people that have done this before. And I was like, what? There's people that have done this before. They're like, yes, you need to find them. They'll save your life. And they absolutely did. My roommate, Jared, Hackmeister was a Napster. And same with Omari Ross, who is one of my good friends, went to naps and they were, I mean if it wasn't for them, I'm barely made it through plebe summer as it is, so if I didn't have them, it would have been even worse. So, yeah, finding the people who went to naps is definitely a huge advantage. Alright. Well having seen four of your children go through the Naval Academy, and I think people probably get really tired of me or hearing me tell my story because it's just one perspective and one experience. Do you think that the difference in your children's personalities or characteristics impacted their experiences at the Naval Academy? Or did you find that they had very similar experiences or pretty different experiences kind of based on who they are as people?
Speaker 2I would say definitely different experiences. My girls were pretty similar, but they're very similar anyways. Um, my oldest son's experience was definitely a different experience than my girls. So not bad or good either way. They just, it was just, he was a mechanical engineer and for his major, which, which he loved, but he, it was, it was hard and um, yeah, but I think I've probably seen the three gone through almost every different scenario. Um, that apparent we'll see because everything was so different between all of them. So the one that just graduated, she has had to love shit out of her company because she's dating. He's actually a senior this year, so I've got to see kind of that experience. And
Speaker 1because they don't have it out of the Air Force Academy. Right. You said you married your squadron?
Speaker 2Yes. Yeah. And squadron is the equivalent to the company at the navy. So yeah, we stayed, we were in this, we were both in 14th company starting out of sophomores. And we could stay. So No,
Speaker 1very nice. All right, cool. Well thanks for that little bit of background about you and your family. And so you're saying that your son who's getting ready to go to the Naval Academy this year was that naps last year. And I understand that you moderated the naps Facebook, like parents page last year and that you're also, again, for people who don't know, just reiterate this, you are the moderator for the line leading the blind class of 2023 parents paid. So for anyone who's in the class of 2023 is specifically parents who just want a safe place to ask questions and kind of reach out. So with that being said, kind of what is the mission of your page? What's the purpose of your page and what are some of the big benefits and services that you believe your page provides?
Speaker 2Um, and I think you kind of just said it. We basically we want to provide like a secure space where the 2023 parents can come and ask questions that, you know, they, they just can't find the answer somewhere else or they just feel silly asking it somewhere else and also to bond with other parents that are going through the same thing at the same time. So it kind of gives it, it's, we're kind of all kind of linking arms and doing the journey together. So I think that's kind of the mission is just to help each other get through this, this journey that is the naval academy.
Speaker 1Oh absolutely. And do you have kind of in general like especially as families are starting to prepare for plebe summer generically, are there kind of a most common frequently asked question you kind of receive or, or what are kind of some of the things of the topics that you're able to cover and provide support for? Parents are out there listening, not sure what the page is all about in terms of commonly asked questions and things and services that you can provide.
Speaker 2Sure. I try to do kind of as events are coming up, I do kind of a words of wisdom type. Um, almost like a blog post for them that kind of gives them, like we did one for the permit to report package that came out. I kind of gave some some tips on those and then I did one for id, which is coming up. I'll be doing one for parents' weekend. They haven't set the scheduled yet. So as soon as I get that I'll be doing a words of wisdom for that. In general questions we get a lot of questions kind of depend on what phase we're going through and the journey. Like at the beginning a lot of them were on that permit to report packages and all the forms filling out that security form. And so I can kind of, you know, give advice on that and help on what to fill out, what not to stress about that kind of thing. Yeah. Now we're seeing a lot of questions on what should they bring with them to plebe summer cause it's, it's kind of counterintuitive to a parent to think I can just take these kids and they bring nothing and they're going to have everything provided to them. Yep. So it's, it's kind of a mindset. You know, we have a whole mix on the, on the page of parents, we have some that are grads and we have some that are veterans academy or you know, fleet background. And then we have some that have no military in their family at all. So yeah, just providing, just kind of the feedback on those kinds of things is very helpful to them.
Speaker 1Oh absolutely. And just I want to give a big thank you to you and all the people who fill similar roles as you. Cause I know my family had zero military background whatsoever and I did a terrible job of informing my parents, like what was going on and what was happening. So for all of you that are out there, and especially you'll start to realize as your kids are going through plebe summer, you might not get on the information that you want in their letters home. You know, sometimes they don't have the time to write about everything that's going on. And even when they get their phones back in the academic year, there's a lot of stuff that's going on that you know, they're stressed out academically, physically on the military side of things, there are a lot of things that are going on. So to have these parents pages where you can ask preliminary questions and kind of get this feedback so your bid doesn't have to spend 35 minutes explaining something. It's a tremendous resource.
Speaker 2That's exactly correct. I agree.
Speaker 1Yeah, absolutely. So I just wanted to give a big thank you because you are a savior to my parents when I was going through the academy. So all that stuff is a tremendous help in a tremendous benefit. And that's kind of also for anyone who, this is their first podcast episode they're listening to about academy insider is that's what academy and Center's all about too is, is kind of in reflection about my time at the academy. I realized that I did a poor job of explaining kind of my experience and what I was going through and how my parents could help and how I could help my parents and what I could teach them. So it's my goal to just kinda be a source of information and through the perspective of a recent graduate about what a Midshipman is going through different stages and also doing my best to explain a lot of the things at the Naval Academy so that way it helps the midshipman so they don't have to spend all that time explaining things. So if you don't know about academy inside of this is your first time hearing about it, I highly recommend you to check out my page academy insider on Facebook and www.academyinsteadof.com cause I have a lot of blog posts, a lot of videos and just a lot of resources overall about the naval academy, kind of the midshipman experience. And I'm always open to any kind of a direct message or email or anything. So please feel free to reach out and I'll do my best to answer. So sorry for the quick plug right there, but I wanted to make sure I got that information out if people were listening for the first time.
Speaker 2No, that's great. I'm glad you did because I know we always mentioned you on our page. As a matter of fact that that parents are so thankful. I mean it really gives them to be able to see that, you know, like just like you said, an inside view from things is just is very important because their kids aren't going to share a lot of that with them. I don't think if it's a, they're like my kids, I, you know, it was like blood from a turnip, get him to say something. So a lot or, or the texts I would get would be when they were, you know, something was weighing heavy on them and they had to vent. So I get all the event stuff and then a week later I'd be all stressed and still worried about it and they'd say what happened with this? And like, oh that's resolved itself. I'm fine. You know, and I've been worried about it for a week. So yeah, you learn to like just let them vent and not, not let it, um, where your backpack down I guess.
Speaker 1I definitely did my fair share of that to my mom and I feel so bad. We've all seen your letter I think leave summer. So yeah. That's funny. Okay, well, uh, kind of with, and you were explaining this earlier, is there a ton of people with different backgrounds, one, maybe even having been graduates of the Naval Academy to, to having prior military experience or three just having no experience or knowledge at all. And so kind of with that in different backgrounds and different perspectives and talking to your kids, a lot of times you can kind of get half information of things that are going on and people are posting things, but they're not really sure what's going on. How do you kind of as a moderator of these Facebook pages see and identify some maybe misinformation or half information that's being going out there. And that leads to kind of confusion about what's going on at the Naval Academy or whatnot and kind of how do you do your best to handle that?
Speaker 2Yeah, that is, there is some misinformation out there and I think mainly it's, it was good information at one time, but there's a lot of old information floating around on the internet and you Google something and, or even one of the greatest resources I had when I first started, I had spent almost a decade that I started a journey as a navy mom and was the service academy forums. Yep. And I just got a lot of information from there, but you really have to look at at what dates are on some of the information you get because you know, something that was posted back in 2007 or whatever is not, may not be valid anymore. So I think that's the, um, the biggest challenge is just making sure that they are getting up to date information. And fortunately with always having had someone at the academy in the last 10 years, can I tried to go to my meds and get the uptodate information and be like, this is what's going on, this is what I'm hearing. And then I can kind of set some things straight. And some things too is like they'll get parts of mid rags and say, I heard they can do such and such. And then I just actually we'll go to the source then, then I look up the med rags NZ concept. Yes. And so then I actually will, you know, I'll, I'll actually take a screen capture of what it says and say this is what you're referring to and this is what it actually means. So, yeah, that's what I try. And I think that's where I think my personnel background kind of comes in handy because I know I've been trained in personnel to read regulations and read the whole thing and not just take paragraphs from here. So I think that is, is a big help. Just just giving them the information that's up to date. And, and, and I still preface everything with this is how it was last year, but it could change this year. Things change. I mean, just look at the female hair regulations. They've, you know, it's all new this year, so. Yep.
Speaker 1And so for everyone who's wondering, and that's why I like to at least believe that I'm open if I say something wrong for people to correct me. But those things change very constantly every single year when it comes to plebe summer, a new standard operating procedure gets signed. So at every year there's a new document that outlines the entirety of the summer. And then same thing with MId Regs. It constantly gets updated at constantly get changed in it constantly gets signs and there little things that may be different that were different from even just a year ago or even if it was just a couple of weeks ago. So, uh, it is constantly changing. And so while there are a lot of things that have stayed the same for a long time, it is important to constantly just trying and keep up to date and realize that things may change. So it's Kinda, it is what it is. And for those of you who don't know what mid regs is, when we say that a mid regs is a shortened version, uh, or not shortened version, but it stands for midshipman regulations, which is like the overarching guidebook and rule book for Bid Shipman at the academy. That covers like literally everything about midstream in life, what you're allowed to wear, when you're allowed to leave, where you're allowed to eat, how you're, you're supposed to Bach or chop or whenever it is. All of that is covered image Shipman regulations. And a lot of times, I mean, as a midshipman you're supposed to know that rule book as a Midshipman. Did I know that rule book back and forth? Absolutely not. I, I, there were a lot of things that I definitely was not sure on. So a lot of times my parents would be like, Hey, do you want to go eat at dry dock or are you allowed to eat at dry dock? And I'd be like, Oh yeah. I mean I think so. It when in reality, like even as a fourth class Midshipman, they're only like specified dates and times that you're allowed to eat in certain places as a fourth class midshipman. And so in order to prevent yourself from getting in trouble unnecessarily, it is always a good idea to realize what is allowed and what isn't allowed. So it was quick tidbit there. Yes. All right, perfect. So kind of having a, a wide range of time of having children in the Naval Academy, have you seen the academy changed at all? Are there any things that are different from your first going through to now? Kind of your last about to start or for the most part have you things seen things generally be the same about the Academy Life Academy culture? Just experience overarching.
Speaker 2Yeah, I would say overarching that things have have stayed the same, but little things have changed. I would say technology changes being the biggest site in my son went any, had a flip phone, they were as smart phones. So right off the bat is that evolved. Plebes have I think have a lot more freedoms as far as um, media rates, that kind of thing. What they're allowed to, to have a not, because it's a lot, it's on their phones, there's things they can't really keep them from doing that. That's probably the biggest change I've seen. Overarching. It's, it's amazing how much things have stayed the same. It's, you know, I look at the different ID schedule of events and the parent's weekend schedule of events and they're, you know, they're pretty much the same year after year and commissioning and yeah, I just did my third one and it's like by now I think I've got, I've got it all down because they, it's just kind of, you know, the schedule and, and it's nice and that's, that's actually one of the great things about the military is that it's, you know, things are scheduled and they're, you know, what to expect I guess. So. Yeah, absolutely. And how was your last conditioning? It was awesome. It was inmate. Yeah, it was, it was a beautiful week and it was, it was great. Yeah. We had, this year we had a great house over kind of on the West Minneapolis, so we were about five minute walk to gate eight. So it was just, and then probably 10 minute walk to the stadium as perfect. Do you guys go to Grad Ball? We did not. That's the one thing. And it's funny because at naps it's a, that's a big thing at naps is the graduation ball and we, so we did that and it was amazing. But none of my kids have ever wanted to do the graduation ball at the naval academy. They're all like, nope, don't want to do it.
Speaker 1Really? That's pretty, yeah, it's, yeah. I don't, I don't blame them. I'm trying to remember back, but I was like, I definitely wasn't like, Ooh, I want to go do this. But I know for sure my sister and my mom wanted to go, so I was like, Oh yeah, we'll definitely go. We'll make it happen. Yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah. That's, and I think if it was something that I was really wouldn't have wanted to go to, but I was more at the, you know, whatever you guys want to do, well I'll do, because it's your week. So they, I think they just didn't want to do one more, you know, another event or superintendents garden party. Yeah. I have not missed
Speaker 1that is for sure. That's one of our favorite events. Oh yeah. Yeah. For anyone who's listening. So during commissioning weak, the superintendent hosts literally a garden party at his house and there's a bunch of food drinks. You walk around, you get a basically tour of the superintendent's House, get to take a picture with him and he walks around and vice admiral Carter was like, for anyone who doesn't know him, I mean I'm talking about like one of the nicest, most professional, just really great guys you can meet. Me and him had a fantastic relationship during my time at the academy. But it's so fun cause he puts on a tremendous event and he's super cordially and just very personable with everyone that walks in. And so I've heard nothing but great things for the new superintendent coming in. So for all of the class 2023 parents look forward to that event. I mean going there and doing the garden party and getting to meet the superintendent and it's all again culminating in this commissioning week where you're getting ready to graduate. It's a super special event in definitely a really cool time. So look forward to that one. It's a fun one. All right. Question for yet. Do you, especially you haven't been, again, a parent of other midshipman. Do you follow other naval academy parents pages on Facebook, whether it be just like the mids mom and dad page or any of the other parents pages on Facebook?
Speaker 2Yes, pretty much to all of the above. Do the mid mom and dad's page, the parent community and the SNA parent community page. Also, there's some prayer pages on both for Grads, a specific page for, um, per page for Gret Academy Grads, Naval Academy grads, and then one for four, the midshipman or, and graduates kind of combined and also individual pages. There's, each of my kids had the class page and still eat. My son who's now a lieutenant, it started out as a class of 2014 and then it turned into 2014 g LTE, Jg, ensign. And it's, it's, it's kind of, but it stayed the same page that we're still in touch with parents from his class. That's awesome. Yeah. So it's, and I think they all offer kind of, you know, their own unique community and they all offer a unique service. So I find value in all of the pages.
Speaker 1Absolutely. And that was kind of going to be my follow up there is is how you feel like especially the the mids mom and dad page at large. How is that different or serve a different purpose than the specific pages like for each individual class. And would you make a recommendation to anyone who's listening doesn't know about these pages, what pages should they follow? Should they follow all of them? And kind of, again, just if you don't mind just talking a little bit about all of the different benefits and unique things that each group provides.
Speaker 2I would say both the M U S and a parent community page and the mid mom, mom and dad's page are very similar. It's, and it's a group of just the midst mom and dad page is a huge, because you can stay on there after you made graduates and it also has sponsored parents on there. So it's just a wealth of knowledge in, it's great because you know, rising youngster parent can, or even a say a rising second class parent can get on there and ask questions about second class parents weekend or the ring dance or sir or um, the s two for seven signing when they'd have to sign their commitment and they have people that have gone through it and they can get advice on what things worked and what didn't new, you know, new rising firstie parents, you know, service selection, lots of questions about service selection that they'll be coming up and then commissioning weak. And so it's a great resource to go to for any level. Whereas that, the individual class groups, like our group, it's, it's smaller. So it's kind of more intimate. We get to know each other, I think better and we, and we're going through kind of the same things and we're also asking questions that maybe they don't want to be bombarded with a ton of answers. And it's where if you go to the bigger pages and ask this specific question with your class stuff, then you might be overwhelming. So, so it was just kind of a more intimate page where we kind of look, I think that's why it's called blind leading the blind because we kind of muddling through it together. Right. And you know, finding, finding the answers and helping each other through it. I think, like I said, it kind of you, they each serve. I think they're on purpose and I definitely would recommend, um, as much as you know, each person can handle, if some people can't take being a member of a whole bunch of groups, it just gets overwhelming. But definitely recommend whatever you, you know, the individual person thinks they can can do because it's there. They all give you different types of information, I guess. Different perspectives.
Speaker 1Absolutely. Fantastic. All right, well thank you so much for talking about that and especially all the resources. Now I'm just going to ask you a couple of questions about being a naval academy mom. And the first one is kind of what do you see as some of the major differences between having a, uh, a male midshipman in a female midshipman? In some, what were some of the cool things or a unique differences in the experiences between the two?
Speaker 2Wow, that's a really good question cause I don't think I really, I don't know if I could really even answer that because I don't know if there were, I mean I'm sure they would have a different opinion, but as a parent, as a parent, yeah, they kind of, they were both all went through the same things and we're same expectations of them. And so I don't know if I really saw a lot of, yeah,
Speaker 1no, and that's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean without a doubt. And I think that's probably a really cool thing for a lot of people to hear is, Hey, as a parent, what you know, whether it's your son or your daughter, again, like you're saying, they're going through the same things that are being held to the exact same standards. You're not going to have a different experience for the most cases in. And I think that's kind of, in my opinion, what makes the academy so special is regardless of who you are, where you came from, guess what, you're going to be held to the exact same standard and, and have the exact same regulations and rules as everyone else. So, um, yeah. Fantastic. All right, well kind of with that and having been through and talked to a lot of other parents, what do you think Mitch Shipman parents worry about too much? Like what's the one thing that you think that people a little bit overreact about or, or think a little bit too much about? Uh, when it comes to being a Cim and parent?
Speaker 2I would probably say, I know there's a lot of worry about their, their health, are they getting the care that they needed and um, worrying about taking care of things when they come back on break and that kind of, and I would just say that the navy's got him. I mean, they've got procedures in place and they're going to be okay. And also I would say I did use to stress a little too much on like the details of every little thing that was coming up. Like with my oldest son, it's like, oh, this, you know, I day has to go like this, this event has to go like this. And then I just realized that I don't need to do that. It's like it's going to be okay. And just tried to, with the, I definitely relaxed with my other two and with Jack, I'm sure I will be also more relaxed than I was my, you know, poor all the salon was the one that was forging the path and he got this stressful mom I think so than the others did. We thought this, what about this? And then I just learned it. It's okay. I don't need to know. They've got it. They've got it. So absolutely just trust the trust. The system. I would say, I would tell parents at trust the system. It's a good one. It's, it's worked for years and years producing amazing officers and trust the system.
Speaker 1Absolutely. And I can't, can't confirm king guarantee. Uh, you know, they make us brush our teeth, they make us go to the dentist, you know, they make us get health Jack's at the doctors. So we were taken care of, but you know, even even if we wanted to try and get away with it, you know, the, you'll show up on the last day, haven't gotten your teeth cleaned, you need to go get your teeth cleaned. You like, Dang it, I hate the net this day. I at do bad. Uh, yeah, go get your teeth cleaned. All right, cool. Um, and so in some cases, I think, like you're saying it's very easy to stress out, worry a little bit too much, but do you think there's anything that you would recommend parents pay more attention to? Or are there little things that you think people should focus on and, and getting prepared for plebe summer or just the Naval Academy experience in general?
Speaker 2I would say I'm getting prepared for it. Just really sure about how much, you know, focusing nonstop because really it's kind of their kids things. So maybe they just need to let go and, and not try to micromanage things cause they have to have to do this. And, and I think that's probably the hardest thing to prepare for. And one actually, I will say one thing that they do to prepare themselves for it. Yeah. Maybe the couple, couple of weeks leading up or in which we're in now or they, especially the last week is definitely, they may see a change in there, the personality of young kid and you know, they, they may pull inside, become withdrawn or normally bubbly, happy kid is all of a sudden they're in booty and withdrawn and it's, it's normal. They're trying to detach because they know they're, you know, it's their way to separate. Yeah. And they're, they're getting ready to embark on something that they don't really know what's going to happen. So it's, it's very overwhelming, but it's very normal. So to expect as a parent, expect that, expect to see the changes. It's completely normal. And, and don't be worried the night before I day they don't get much sleep because they probably won't get much sleep and they may not want to eat in the morning but try and tell them to eat. They won't have to have a while before they get food.
Speaker 1It sounds like you're 100% explaining my full experience cause that's exactly what happened. I remember. So for all of you who are listening, I will post a blog article here soon. I was actually written by my sister kind of talking what it was like to be a midshipman sibling and that was the main thing that she noticed and she was like, I'm pleased parents weekend. She was like what did they do to my brother? Like why is he not the same person? Cause during plea, I mean after plebe Mri was like, I was nervous just being out in town. I was wow. I was super stiff like you're saying I'm, I'm normally a super bubbly, fun kind of goofy person. But after plebe summer I was walking around, I was nervous. I was constantly like checking over my shoulder to make sure there weren't any details around. You know, and that's completely like you're saying it's completely normal, it's just part of it. So to not worry about that, I think that's a great thing to, to kind of focus on as a parent is not to overreact to that because hey like it is, it's part of the process. It's normal. People go through it and at the end of the day here I am kind of joking and laughing about it. So you do return to, you know who you are as a person that definitely they don't, they don't fully take it away. It might just be paused for a sec.
Speaker 2Exactly. And also going along with that on id where you know you get to meet them after the oath and you get about 20 or 30 minutes with your plead. And also parents don't be surprised if they are totally looked shell shocked and like have just as the wide eyed deer in the headlights look like, what have I just done? It's hard sometimes for a parent to see that. But again, I go back to trust the system, they're going to be okay and, and they're just in a state of total confusion at the Times. But yeah, don't be surprised if you see that. Some will be just, you know, my one daughter that we were most worried about, my oldest daughter, oh my husband was, he was just like, she's, I don't know how she's going to do this. And, and she was just smiling ear to ear see on during that little time after the, Oh, so we were like, wow, she's really okay. So sometimes you just never know.
Speaker 1Yeah, absolutely. All right. Kinda last question in this little piece of segment here is what advice would you give the Cim parents about supporting their midshipman during plebe summer? Like how can parents best support their midshipman during plebe summer? Cause I'm sure it's commonly asked question. I know my parents were like, how do we even help them? How do we support him going through this experience and your experience, what's the best way to support a midshipman going through plebe summer?
Speaker 2I think one of the best ways during plebe summer is, is write them. I wrote all of mine everyday at right. Even if it wasn't my, I would just say what was going on. They really like to know what is happening back here. Kind of what the normal day to day stuff they're missing. Yeah. And my oldest son, I always actually probably did it with most of them. I would always put in some type of a motivational quote or quote from the Bible. And then I mixed that up with jokes. Um, but just, just touching base with some part, even though some of them, sometimes they didn't, couldn't read any of them. Like they would get their letters, then they wouldn't be able to read them for another week. And so we'd have a or you know, and then you've got, you know, parents weekend, they'd have a stack they hadn't even read yet. But, but knowing that you're doing that means a lot. And then when they call this, I don't know how this is gonna sound, but they sometimes when they called, they're great, they're doing good and but have like, like questions made ready for the call so you know what to ask them and cause they have a just very limited time. Yes. And so I think asking them about the roommates, that kind of thing they may want to know but also don't baby them when they call because some may call and be really like, oh I can't do this. I hate it. And, and they can do it. And, and, and they're looking to you to say, you've got this, you can do it. Remember why you're here. And don't, don't make it, I guess easy for them to run away and make, you know, make them realize that they, it was something they really, really wanted at one time and that, and help them remember that and just be strong. Even if you hang up the phone and you, you know, fall to pieces on while you're on the phone, try and beat, there's just strong for them and saying, oh we miss you so much, blah blah blah. That
Speaker 1is it. It's probably not helpful. Yeah. If for any parent who is listening right now, if you do experience that, please call or call me or send me an email or send me a message so I can get you in touch with my parents because I was that person that Julie's talking about that was like, get me out of here. I hate it. I don't want to be here. This place sucks. Like seriously, get me out of here and I know my mom like, like my mom was, you know, really emotional by that and kind of couldn't take him up on my dad was the one who was like, hey one you can do it but to like you need to think about logically here, what are you doing? Like if you leave, like if you leave now, guess what? You're going to have to like take a year off or you're going to have to go to a junior college somewhere, you're going to have to work or whatever it is. Like what do you really want? What do you really want to do? And like peas, it's very easy to make permanent decisions off of temporary emotions and so it's your job as a parent in my opinion, to help them realize the permanent kind of part of the decision based on the temporary emotional with their feeling and now as someone who was in there and that in that feeling, those temporary emotions that they're really powerful. All right. You don't want to listen to any of the reason or the logic or kind of just you know, sound thought, but continuing to be supportive but also being there rock of, hey here is kind of a real live look at what we have here and using logic and reason but also providing love and support. Definitely very helpful. But again, if you think you're going to get a bad phone call, reach out to me in an academy inside of there because I'd be glad to get you in touch with my parents and how they handled the phone calls because first year, three out of three phone calls were not pleasant and I apologize to my parents for that all the time, but it's kind of how it was. All right, perfect. We
Speaker 2had one, one of ours was, um, the whole plebe year when the struggle, every, every time I went to hear from them, it was, it was a struggle. And after, after plebe year, everything was fine and I was told, thank you so much for not making it easy for me to leave. I mean, we were, like you said, very loving and supportive, but we were very, very real. And it's like you need to be running to something, not running away from something. You need to have a plan and then compare your plans and then you can make an informed decision. And we'd always tell him also, the best advice I think I could say is make it to the next event. If it's, you know, lunch is coming up, say I can make it to lunch. Um, I can make it, you know, each and just keep doing that. And before you know it, the week has gone. And before, you know, plead summer's over and the Portland Art plebe year is over just by making it through one evolution at a time. So that was, I mean I had very good mentor, Elaine Bri who back when before we had Facebook, we had the list serve, which was um, don't know if your parents um, were on that or not, but it was an email list serve. So basically kind of a group but through email and Elaine has, I'm not dizzy, she's wrote the book, um, be um, be safe. Love Mom. Okay. And has four officers in the military, all in different branches and three of them are naval academy grads. And she was my biggest mentor cause she was, um, on that list serve and she just was, gave me so much good advice. And so I'm kind of, you know, trying to pay it forward from what I benefited from her. Yeah. And that was some of the advice that she had given right. Given me right away is just have them make it through each evolution one at a time and, and then I pass that on. So, and what was that book again? It's be safe.
Speaker 1Love moms. Love it. We will put for anyone who wants to get it, we will put a link to get that book in the show notes of this podcast. I recommend checking out. Absolutely. Um, all right. And kind of moving on to the final, uh, what we call the lightning round of questions here on academy and Saturday was just some common questions that we ask all of our guests. And first thing is, uh, what were some of the favorite things that your kids like to get in care packages? What were some of the things that each of them, uh, really found as a treat and care packages?
Speaker 2They all like fruit snacks. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, fruit snacks in the best. Yeah. Yes. And, um, protein, power bars, protein bars, yeah, for sure. And then like trail mix mixed nuts and m and, m's, that kind of thing. That was probably their favorite.
Speaker 1[inaudible]. Uh, all, all great choices. Um, second thing as a parent, what's your favorite memory from all of the Times at the Naval Academy? If there's a specific event, what, like if it's the garden party or whatever it is, kind of what, what are some of your favorite memories from your time as a parent of a Midshipman at the Naval Academy?
Speaker 2Yeah, I would say I couldn't pick one. I was telling my kids when they ask my favorites, I say I don't have favorites, but I have do, have definitely. Um, several that kind of stick out. Blue Angels is always of my favorite things during commissioning week. Um, that's just amazing to just sit in and enjoy the show. We mentioned that the Garden Party, um, let's see, I would say second class, parents weekend. I always enjoy that. I like going to the, we can go to the classes with, with your second classmen, you can visit their class for a day and then, um, is very eye opening for especially people that haven't been through military classes, that kind of thing. And eating and King Hall during Second Class Parents Weekend. I always enjoy visiting the dorm rooms, you know, two opportunities we have during plead parents weekend and then during the second class, parents weekend. Yep. And one thing, it's kind of, it's very minute, but it's just always a special memory for us is whenever we'd go visit our kids on the yard, we always would bring food up to the second floor on Dahlgren Hall and kind of always meet there. So that always, that's just a special place for me. There. Holds Great Memories because we'd always go and meet them there. And that's super special and hangout. Yeah.
Speaker 1Yeah. So that, it's funny you say that for me. That was Mitchell Hall. So, um, in between eighth and seventh wing by basically across from King Hall and there's thing called mixture and measure has a bunch of tables in there. Um, and that was where my family always probably food. So that, that same thing, that second floor of Dogen for you as what Mitchell Hall was for me and my mom and my dad. Um, but, but it's crazy how just like certain places, whether it be like, let's literally just where you bring food, it means so much to me. Like Mr. Hall, we'll always have a special place in my heart because that were like, those were some of the best times because your parents were in town or your mom was just bringing you a sandwich or whatever it was. And a man, that's a great one. Thank you for bringing that up. Yeah. Yeah. Mitchell just makes me smile just thinking about it. I love mature. Um, all right. Um, great. And the last question here is, um, what's your favorite spot on the Naval Academy campus? What's your favorite spot on the yard?
Speaker 2Well, I think maybe we just mentioned it probably second floor. Dahlgren Hall is probably, um, that and um, and the chapel also. Yeah, just around the chapel is beautiful. So that whole stripling walk chapel area.
Speaker 1Yeah. Yeah. Fantastic. All right. Um, well thank you so much for coming on, uh, the academy insider podcast. We really, really appreciate it and thank you so much for what you do with moderating the class of 2023 blind leading the blind Facebook page. Um, thank you so much for coming on the show. I appreciate it so much. Um, yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2Well, thank you for having me and thank you for all you do. I know our parents are very, very grateful for it.
Speaker 1I really, I really appreciate it. Absolutely. All right. Thank you guys so much for listening again for class of 2023 parents. I hope you got something out of this. If you are, I'm still learning about academy insider. I actually have released a summer preparation online course on my website. Um, so if you are interested in getting that, uh, basically the reality is just an online course. So I have many videos about how to prepare mentally, physically, emotionally, and logistically for plebe summer. Again, it's just one person's experience. Just my advice about how you can prepare in general to kind of make, to basically maximize your plebe summer experience. So if you don't want to know what that is and you're interested in it, please shoot me a message@grantatacademyandsaturday.com and I'd be happy to send you a coupon code to get that course for free. Um, but again, thank you so much and I hope all have a great day. Thanks. I'm so impressed by Julie's approach to parenting and helping mids, uh, and their parents and their families and their naval academy journey. So if you're a class of 2023 parent, please be sure to join her Facebook group, which I'll put in the link in the show notes to this podcast. If you enjoyed the show and you want to learn a little bit more about the Naval Academy through my experiences, great guests like Julie and other guests who are graduates of the Naval Academy or have a special relationship to the academy. Please go to apple podcast and leave a review. Subscribe to this podcast academy insider with grant from here. So you don't miss any new episodes. If you want to know more about me or the academy, you can find more information@academyinsider.com thank you. Review and subscribe, and I'll see you all in the next episode.
